Blowing It
by lissylou78
Summary: Things tense up between Derek and Penelope after the appearance of Tamara Barnes
1. Confrontation

Derek knew that he had blown it. He had seen the hurt that flashed through her eyes, and had heard the uncertainty in her voice when he had called for the particulars. She had taken him by surprise, demanding he cut his ties with Tamara. His stubborn streak kicked in at the forbidding tone, though he knew that it would have taken a lot for her to approach him, and how she would have hated having to do it, he couldn't help but be defensive of his actions. Truth was, she nailed him, and they both knew it. Once the case had broken, he had done exactly as Penelope predicted he would. He was standing at Tamara Barnes' doorstep. As he knocked on her door, all he could hear was Penelope's voice echoing in his ear.

When everyone had returned to the office, Penelope was not at all surprised that Derek had not come back with them. She knew where he would be, and the look on Emily's face confirmed as much. She along with Penelope knew that he had crossed the line.

"You up for drinks Pen?"  
"Nah, I'm going to pass Em. I would love a long hot bath, fresh sheets, and sleep. If you and Jayje are up for it, movie night tomorrow?"  
"That sounds great. I'll bring the ice cream."  
"Awesome! Will drop you a text in the morning for time and what not."  
"Looking forward to it." Em replied enthusiastically. Girls movie night was always fun, and it had been awhile since their last one. Penelope gave them all a friendly wave goodbye before heading out the door.

By the time Derek had gotten back to the office to finish off the paperwork from their case, Penelope was long gone. He was about to head over to her bunker to smooth their fraying situation.

"Ah, she's left already Derek." Derek looked at Em,  
"I thought we were doing drinks tonight?" he asked.  
"We are. Pen bailed. Something about a hot bath, fresh sheets and sleep." His brow furrowed and lips pursed. Emily knew that his mind was whirling. He picked up his phone to dial her number,  
"Hey Morgan what's up?" she answered.  
"You not coming out for drinks Baby Girl?"  
"I passed. I wanted a long hot soak in the tub and a quiet night in."  
"You sure." He pressed,  
"Yeah, thank you for calling though." She replied politely without a trace of their usual flirtatious banter.  
"P…" he began, but stopped knowing he couldn't really get into it with everyone at their desk  
"I'll call you later."  
"Sure Morgan." She replied hanging up.


	2. Reassessment

"Okay, whoa stop. I love you. I respect you. You know that. But right now, you're way out of bounds. I'm not involved"

It wasn't so much his words that rang in her ears, but more the tone of voice in which he took. He had never disregarded her in any way before, and certainly not in the manner he did only hours before. Perhaps he was right, perhaps she had no right to speak such truth in his life.

Derek tried to be present while they were having drinks, but Emily could see that he was distracted. She knew that something had gone down between Derek and Penelope, and though Penelope hadn't yet fessed up to it, she could guess that it did not go well. JJ had admitted to walking in on something earlier that afternoon, but she wasn't quite sure what. She was glad that they were having a girls night the following evening, if only to allow Penelope to have an outlet. No one was really surprised when he bailed after the second drink.

When Penelope heard the knock on her door, she wasn't at entirely surprised. She knew it would be him. Though she did doubt he would show up judging from how mad he was earlier, the moment he knocked on her door, there was no questioning on who it would be. Sighing she threw on her favorite hoodie over her pyjamas to greet him at the door.

"Hey," she greeted opening the door without looking through the peephole.  
"Hey, my turn. Can we talk?" Penelope met his gaze and nodded.  
"We don't have to do this Morgan, you already made yourself perfectly clear. I had no right to call you on it. It's none of my business. It's your life. You're a grown up capable of his own choices. I'm sorry I butted in. It obviously wasn't my place."  
"P…" he said apologetically hearing the hurt in her voice as she addressed him.  
"I was a jack ass this afternoon. I am so sorry. The thing is, you were right and I knew that. I just wasn't ready to be called on it."  
"Maybe, but you were right. I was out of bounds. It wasn't my place."  
"Don't P. Don't do that."  
"Don't what Morgan?"  
"Don't diminish your part in my life, your importance in my life. I screwed up today and I am sorry, but if anyone had any right to call me on my shit this afternoon it's you. You're my best friend and that will always come first."  
"But it didn't today Derek. It hasn't for awhile now. We've been living separate lives for months. Maybe we've over-estimated whatever this is?" Derek hung his head, realizing just how much he had hurt her. How his choices had consequences he hadn't known it would have.


	3. Revelations

"Morning P," Derek greeted as he walked into the break room to grab a cup of coffee

"Morning Derek." She replied politely with a smile. Derek couldn't help but feel a twinge in his heart for the distinct change in her demeanour with him. Gone were the 'I'll show you a good morning Hot Stuff'. He hadn't noticed it before, but he realised it had been awhile since she had replied in such a way. To be honest, it had been awhile since they have shared more than polite chit chat. She had made him see the night before that their issues went beyond her warning of Tamara Barnes and his reaction to her warning only made her doubt her position in his life more than she already did.

"P, I get that things are different between us, and I that I am largely to blame for it,"

"No Derek, it takes two to tango,"

"It doesn't matter. The point is, I don't like where we are, that we've gotten here. You're one of the most important people in my life P. In my heart and in my soul, you're still my best friend, and I am sorry I have made you feel less than that. There's no excuses for it, and I won't insult you with platitudes. But it stops now. You're too important to me, and I've come too close to losing you far too many times to just shake this off. I don't want to lose you P." Derek's voice cracked with emotion, as Penelope's eyes filled with tears. Taking a deep breath she stepped forward to meet him in the middle

"You hurt me Derek. You brushed me aside and made me feel like I had no part in your life, and that almost killed me. I realised then just how much of me is invested in this friendship only to realise you weren't on the same page. I don't want you to want this friendship because you don't want to lose it. I don't want you to force yourself to make it mean more than it does to you, because maybe, just maybe we're run our course, and that the new season in our lives is meant to be spent apart." She placed a hand on his cheek,

"I love you. You have made the last five years of my life, that much richer just by being in my world, and your friendship has meant everything to me. The thought of not having you in my life is inconceivable, but I refuse to force my presence in your life when perhaps we're not meant to be whatever we were."

"You don't believe that as much as you want to P."

"Maybe not, but it's a start."

"You really want to walk away from this? From us?"

"What exactly am I walking away from Derek? Last I checked there was no us, and hasn't been for awhile."

"If I could take it back I would P. I swear."

"I know honey, I know. You weren't the only one at fault. I felt you slip away from me when I started dating Kevin, and I let you. I could have fought harder than I did, but I guess it wasn't hard enough."

"I just didn't want to get in the way of you and him. And honestly P, I was jealous."

"Of what Derek. I don't remember walking away from you, or being less available to you. Did I abandon you? Did I make you feel like you were less important, because if I remember correctly that was the one thing I made sure of I didn't compromise because you were family. It didn't matter that it was a constant bone of contention between Kevin and I till the day we broke up, I didn't care, because you, our team, my family always came first."

"P, you broke up with Kevin?" he asked shocked,

"Months ago, but you wouldn't know that because you've hardly been available in any way these days, and that's fine. I can accept that. Let me go and let me finish what you've started." Derek hung his head in shame. He had failed her in so many ways.

"No P. I won't let you go." He said defiantly unwavering.

"Now I get that I screwed up, it seems in more ways than I thought it was even possible, and I am sorry doesn't even cut it. But I won't let you walk away from me P. I won't let you brush it off as a confirmation of what you think is true. That I don't care, that I'm not willing to fight for you, because I am, so deal with it. Unless you can look me in the eye right now and tell you me you don't want to have anything to do with me, in which case say it now."

"That's not fair because you know I can't." she protested in frustration.

"Then deal with it. I am going to bug you until you find me irresistible again."

"Derek…" she said rolling her eyes.

"Please P. I need you in my life. I know I've been a jackass acting the complete opposite lately, and I have no excuse for that, but please don't give up on us. Please don't give up on me."

"Morgan…fine." She said reluctantly succumbing to his pleading eyes

"So how about you let me buy you dinner tonight?"

"Sure, why not. Something tells me you're not exactly going to take no for an answer at this point."

"You got that right. I'll come and get you from your Bunker and we can go right after work."

"My car Morgan." She reminded him  
"I'll drop you off tonight and pick you up tomorrow. Better yet, stay the night."

"Don't push it." She replied with a chuckle as he dropped his lips on her temple.

"See you later baby girl."


	4. Baby Steps

By four thirty that afternoon Derek was leaning against her doorway ready to take her out for the evening. She was so engrossed in what she was doing that he was able to watch her undetected for a few minute. Penelope almost jumped out of her skin when she realized that he was there.

"Oh my God. You need a bell around your neck. You scared the bejeezus out of me Morgan. You didn't have to come and get me. I would have met you at your desk. What? You think I'd sneak out of here?"

"I wasn't going to take any chances sweetness."

"I think I'm hurt." She replied dryly shutting down for the day. Derek chuckled with a grin.

After a quick farewell to all they headed out the door. It was hard to miss the surprised looks and raised eyebrows directed at Penelope who merely shrugged as an answer. She was willing to bet that her phone would be beeping like mad before the night is through.

"Derek, don't take this the wrong way, I appreciate the effort, but could we maybe take it down a notch. I feel like we're trying too hard you know." Penelope said carefully as they pulled up at a fancy restaurant. Derek turned to meet her gaze and looked back out the window,

"I guess this isn't really us is it?"

"Not for this, maybe for your birthday or celebrating milestones, but not for getting reacquainted. How about we do something a little more familiar?"

"Pizza at mine?" he suggested.

"Sure, that sounds good. Let's drop by the office and I can pick up my car."

"I'll drive you home P, it's like ten minutes away."

"If you insist."

On the way to his place they had called their favorite Pizza place for their order so that it would be ready in time. The moment Penelope walked into Derek's apartment Clooney greeted her by jumping excitedly into her arms.

"Hey boy, did you miss me? I've missed you too." Clooney wagged his tail happily at her as if to answer her question. Penelope giggled as he licked her face.

"Aww thanks for the facial honey."

"Come you overgrown Puppy. I'll let you out into the backyard." Clooney resisted for a moment,

"Don't worry buddy, I'll say goodbye before I go." Penelope assured him before he reluctantly allowed his master to send him outside.

"If you want to get comfortable P, your things are still where they used to be."

"Oh thanks, I might go and wash my face and change into my sweats." She replied trying to hide her surprise.

"Sure Baby Girl, take your time. I'll get set up here too."

Penelope warily made her way into the guestroom that she once frequented in so often that she deemed it hers. In there she had a drawer full of clothes, a few work suits, a set of her toiletries lived in the guest bathroom. Though it had been months, nothing had been moved. Admittedly, that discovery softened the walls she had armed herself with before agreeing to an evening with Derek. Penelope took longer than she normally did and it gave Derek enough time to change into his own sweats to be comfortable. By the time Penelope had emerged from the guest room, make up less, and sweat clad, she had never looked more beautiful to him. It was rare for Penelope to allow anyone to see her without the make up and loud clothes she hid behind, and he knew he was one of the not many privy to that.

"What?" she asked as she caught his deep stare.

"Nothing, come eat." He said shaking the cobwebs from his head to pat the seat beside him.

"What's going on with you?" Derek heard the worry and concern in her voice,

"Nothing P." he answered. As she stiffened beside him, he realized he had said the wrong thing.

"I have so many things going on in my head I don't know where to start. It's not for the lack of wanting to share with you P. I promise." Penelope nodded and gave him a soft smile before taking a plate for herself and handing him the other.

"Good choice." She said referring to singing in the rain which was one of her all time favorites.

"I still remember the important things P." he assured her quietly.

"I know. I appreciate that." She replied dropping a quick kiss on his cheek before sinking into his couch comfortably.


	5. It becomes clearer

It was a slow process but Derek and Penelope were making progress. Derek knew that she was still guarded with him, and he understood it. He had put her aside for so long that she no longer trusted in how he valued and regarded her. It was as though she was just waiting for him to tire of her again and put her aside, and that knowledge alone tore him up. There were moments when it was as though she would forget everything that has happened between them and she had no inhibitions, and then something would remind her and immediately her demeanour would change, it broke his heart every time.

Emily, Reid, JJ, Derek and Penelope were engaged in one of their patented teasing and jibes while waiting for Hotch and Dave one Friday afternoon. They had endured yet another long and gruelling case and they needed some time to just chill out. Penelope had picked up Jack from Jessica's that afternoon so that he would be waiting for Hotch when they arrived. Penelope was perched on Emily's desk with Jack on her lap. Jack giggled happily as he tried to catch Penelope's moving hands with his. The rest of them watched appreciatively. As Penelope looked up she stiffened at the sight of Tamara Barnes in their bullpen.

"Derek, someone is here for you." She said quietly. Derek turned and stood quickly to his feet as he saw Tamara heading towards them. He looked back at Penelope who had dropped her gaze. He inwardly groaned knowing what it looked like to her.

"Ms Barnes," Emily greeted with a polite nod while the rest of them gave her a careful smile.

"Aunt P, I'm thirsty."

"Why don't we take a trip down to Aunt P's bunker and see what she has in her mini fridge for you." She kept juice boxes for him in her fridge for times such as these, and right then she had never been so glad she did. Emily jumped to her feet,

"Jayje and I will go with you guys. I could use a drink. How about you Reid?"

"Ugh sure, I could use a drink. Garcia, do you still have that Grape kind I like?"

"That's my favourite too Uncle Spencer." Jack pointed out while the rest of them laughed.

Derek watched them leave with a longing in his eyes willing for Penelope to meet his gaze, but she didn't. With Jack on her hip, they all headed to her bunker listening to Jack Hotchner talk a mile a minute.

Half an hour later everyone had returned to the bull pen with the exception of Penelope. He had just returned from walking Tamara out of the building and was about to head to Penelope's bunker to join them,

"Where's P?"

"She's packing up for the evening." Derek nodded without a word and headed straight to her bunker preparing himself for what was ahead. Penelope was packing her laptop into her backpack when he walked in. She knew that the moment he had finished with Tamara he would come looking for her and she needed to compose herself in that time. She didn't want whatever progress they made to disintegrate because she felt insecure about her position in his life.

"P,"

"Oh hey, Rossi and Hotch finally done?" she asked.

"Hotch ducked his head out before I walked over here, he said ten minutes tops."

"Good, I'm starving."

"Tamara okay?" she asked,

"Yeah, she's moving to Montana and she just wanted to say goodbye."

"What's in Montana?"

"It's not filled reminders of what she'd lost. She wanted a new beginning, and her company offered her a position there. A change of scenery would be good for her, a new beginning."

"Doesn't she have friends here?" she asked curiously,

"No, she and her brother were pretty tight and they shared the same close knit circle of friends. That night, she was supposed to be at that dinner but she got called away to a meeting so she had to bail on them."

"Wow,"

"Yeah, tough times."

"I'm sorry Derek."

"For what P?"

"For what I said that day. I had no right. I didn't know what she was going through, and if I knew what I knew, chances are I would have done exactly what you would have. I was jealous. You and I, by that stage had grown so far apart that I was envious that you had a connection with her that I no longer felt we had. I got mad at you for all the wrong reasons."

Derek crossed the room to where she was and cupped her face with his hand.

"I'm sorry too P. With everything that was happening, I got inside my own head and I stayed there. Once I was in there, it was always to hard to pull myself out, and with the distance between us I couldn't just walk into your apartment when I was falling apart, which is exactly what I needed, I guess what we both needed. We've always come so easily to each other that I guess without any effort we fell apart. I won't make that mistake again P. You mean too much to me."

"Me too."

Derek pulled Penelope into his arms as she buried her face into his chest. For the first time feeling the tension between them disappear.


	6. Getting there

"Hey P," Penelope looked up from her monitor,

"Oh hey, you guys are back already. My gosh is that the time?" she exclaimed looking at the clock above her bunker door where Derek stood.

"Have you not moved since we called to say we were on the jet?"

"I guess not. I just had whole lot of back log that I wanted to get through before the holidays."

"Can you believe it? The dragon lady is giving us two consecutive weeks off."

"I think with everything that our team has gone through you would think so. Are you heading home?" she enquired.

Slowly they had begun to rebuild their friendship. Derek had started to spend a lot more time in her bunker as he once used to. They had gone out to dinner a regularly as friends, watched movies and little by little they were gaining some ground. Penelope's trust in him began to widen within time.

"Mom's working back to back on that first week, Des is in the middle of exams and Sarah is away with her family so I was just going to kick back here and do some work on the new unit. And you?"

"Much the same, minus the renovation. Jayje is going to New Orleans with Will and Henry for the first week, Emily is required to show face at her Mom's functions, so she'll be away too, so I was just going to hang home in my pj's and read me some trashy novels for a couple of days before heading on over to New York for Christmas and New Year. Mac insisted." She added with an eye roll.

Mac Taylor was the head of CSI NY, and a close family friend of Penelope's. He had been one her brother's best friends who had remained prominently in her life throughout the years. Penelope could confidently say that if there was one person who knew her best, it was Mac Taylor.

"I bet he did."

"Reid's going to visit his Mom, so is Rossi and I know Hotch is taking Jack to Haley's side of the family because it's their first Christmas without her, so that leaves you here on your own. Why don't you come to NY with me?" she offered, not wanting him to spend the holidays on his own.

"I don't want to horn in on your plans P." he replied softly.

"Don't be silly. The more the merrier. I wasn't going to stay at Mac's anyway, much to his dismay. He has Hawkes on his couch at the moment and as much as I love those guys, I wasn't going to do the whole bathroom sharing thing. What do you say? I see a hotel room with twin beds with our names all over it."

"Aww P, you're willing to share a bathroom with me. I am touched."

"Morgan, I've already broken your bathroom habits. Mac is one thing but Hawkes and Mac at the same time. Please! So you in?"

"If you're sure I'm not cramping your style."

Before they had all disbursed into their own plans for the holidays, as a team and family they gathered at Rossi's cabin for the weekend, to do their own Christmas dinner and exchanging of gifts. Penelope stifled a laugh at their reaction when she and Derek had shared with them their plans for the week. To say they were shocked would be an understatement, knowing that Penelope was still guarded and careful around Derek.

"I'll see you guys in a couple of weeks and we can do our day spa trip." Penelope said as she and the girls hugged goodbye.

"Check in regularly."

"Is that so you can periodically disappear from your Mother's engagements or you're worried Derek and I will kill each other." Penelope asked Emily in amusement,

"Perhaps both." Emily answered with a chuckle.

Derek arrived at Penelope's doorstep with his bag packed for their week in New York. They had agreed to drive his SUV and leave early from her place, which meant their first sleep over since their hiatus as friends. Penelope opened the door and saw the nervousness she felt mirrored on his face.

"Come on in Morgan, you didn't have to knock, you have your own keys."

"I know, I just, you know."

"Yeah, it's okay. I guess it just takes a little time getting used to again. I'm sure a week in New York will do it." Derek grinned,

"That is true. Thanks for sharing the holidays with me P. I really appreciate it."

"Of course. I would never let you spend Christmas on your own Sparky."

As Derek dumped his bags in her guest room Penelope got plates out of the cupboard.

"I went with Pizza. I figure Pizza means no left overs."

"Good plan. You could have called me to pick it up on the way."

"That's okay. I had to run a couple of errands this afternoon so I swung by to pick it up and shoved it in the oven to keep warm till you got here. What'd you get up to the last couple of days?" she asked. It had been a couple of days since they had said goodbye to their friends, and as planned, Penelope had spent most those two days reading her trashy novels.

"I worked on the Unit. I took out a wall to make it an open plan living and dining area."

"Nice. I'd love to see the changes."

"I'll take you when we get back. I haven't really done much work on it since you last saw it. I haven't really had much time."

"Ain't that the story of our lives these days? With work and other things, I barely know when I'm coming or going. At the same time, keeping busy helps, if that at all makes sense."

"Yeah it does. Are you still doing volunteer work at the trauma centre?" he asked.

"Yeah not as often, I alternate weeks…"

"And the other days?" he pressed, sensing there was more.

"I look after Jack. I do the counselling stuff with him."

"Ahh, that makes sense. He trusts you implicitly and he loves you."

"He's a great kid. You'd think with everything that's happened in his short little life, he'd be somehow I don't know, but he's not. He's this brave little boy who still loves life. Who loves to his fullest. I love that about him."

"P, you're that way." Derek said pointing out,

"I don't know Derek. I used to be, but I don't know. These days it takes more of an effort you know?" she admitted

"It scares me sometimes that I have lost me in this job you know. It makes me wonder sometimes if its worth it." Penelope confessed. Derek's eyes sought hers immediately in concern,

"Would you really walk away from it P?" he asked,

"I think if I had to choose between losing who I am and what makes me stay, yes. I mean it would break my heart in a way, but I can't keep going like this only to have a shell of a person left behind. Somewhere down the line, we're all going to go our separate ways, settle down, get married, I'd be alone as well as jaded and I don't want that." Penelope looked away as she finished her sentence. Derek knew by the resolve in her voice that she had put serious thought into what she had said out loud,

"Baby Girl, you will never be alone. Regardless of what happens, this team is a family and we have all been through too much to just walk away from each other as though it was just another job. As for you being jaded, not a chance. There are too many of us who would make sure that never happens, and you know I would always be in the frontline fighting to make sure that never happens."

"You can't declare yourself my bodyguard forever Derek. You are entitled to your own life. It's not your job to keep me together."

"Well tough. You're my best friend P, and you will always be, and as your best friend, it's my job to keep you in line. Just like it's yours to keep me in mine." Penelope rolled her eyes,

"Derek Morgan, you're incorrigible. You know that right?"

"It's what makes me me P, and you wouldn't trade me in for the world."

"You sound overly confident my friend."

"Yeah, well there are only a few things in the world I am confident of P, and you're one of them."

"Aww thanks Morgan. I'm touched."


	7. What comes back to you

Though Penelope was a little worried, it became clear that there was nothing to worry about the moment they were sitting on her couch the night before their drive to New York. It wasn't hard to admit that she missed him, that she was glad that he was back in his life, and that she meant enough to him to not let her walk away from him which was what she was willing to do despite how much it hurt to think he would allow her.

"Come on Baby Girl, not again." He protested as she hit the button to repeat the song,

"What? I love this song!" she answered with a grin,

"I know you do Angel, you've been loving it since we left Virginia an hour ago." Derek stated dryly. Penelope only grinned wider and started singing along with Galinda the good witch. Derek rolled his eyes and just shook his head knowing that it was a lost argument.

Penelope tried her hardest to stay awake to keep him company, but their late night and early morning rise had her fading at hour two, and by two and a half she was out like a light leaving Derek DJ-ing his own tunes, giving him some time to think.

He was glad that he was spending the holidays with her, and if he were completely honest, it was what he had hoped would happen. Fran did offer to swap her shifts, but he wanted the opportunity to prove to Penelope just how much their friendship meant to him, and how he would never again take it for granted. They were both making conscious efforts with each other, and slowly, it was beginning to feel like second nature again, for which he was grateful. He couldn't imagine what it would have been like not having her in his life, how closely he had gotten to losing her.

"Sheesh Handsome, your thoughts are so loud so they woke me." Penelope commented startling him. Derek turned to smile at her,

"My apologies, I'll try to think quieter."

"How long was I out?" she asked sheepishly,

"Not long, half an hour if that. We've got a little bit to go if you want to catch a few more zzz's."

"And what, miss what goes on in that mind of yours. Never! So fess up, what has you so deep in thought?" Derek hesitated for a moment,

"I was just thinking that I'm glad we're spending the holidays together. I've really missed hanging out with you P."

"Me too Morgs."

When they arrived at the hotel to check in it was still quite early. They had planned to meet Mac and Stella at CSI headquarters at noon for lunch.

"Here are your keys Ms Garcia. Shall I have the bellboy help you with your bags?" the receptionist asked. Penelope glanced at Derek who shook his head as he effortlessly carried his bags along with her own.

"She's brought her own muscle." He replied giving Penelope a wink as the receptionist smiled at them both in appreciation of their camaraderie.

"Let's go Muscle Man." She said pushing him towards the direction of the elevator giving the receptionist a quick wave goodbye.

"Give me my laptop bag at least."

"Nah uh Baby Girl," he answered not relinquishing his hold on her bags.

"Mule!" Penelope muttered relenting.

Derek placed their bags on the luggage bay beside the closet before collapsing on the bed nearest to the doorway. Penelope chuckled knowing that he didn't pick that bed because it was the nearest to him, but because it was nearest to the door, so that if anyone every broke into their hotel room, he would be the first to hear it. Ever cautious and protective.

"Why don't you take a nap, and we can grab breakfast around nineish?"

"Sounds like a plan." He agreed with a yawn before reaching for the pillow that Penelope was leaning against as she booted up her laptop.

"Derek, I've been leaning on it for like ten minutes, how much of my smell do you really think has transferred on to it?"

"Enough to slide me from third base to home." Derek answered impatiently. Sighing Penelope gave him her pillow and watched as he snuggled deeply into the pillow contently. Moments later she could hear the light snore that escaped his lips.

Penelope rose to her feet and started unpacking. They were staying for over ten days and heading back to Virginia the day after New Years. There were two sets of drawers, one for her and one for Derek. After unpacking her bags, she began to tackle his, and hanging his clothes beside hers. Afterwards she headed to the bathroom to freshen up and change. When she was done, she gently shook him awake,

"Hey Morgs, if you wanted to grab a shower before we head out, you might want to take one now." She had left him to sleep instead of waking him to eat breakfast, knowing that he needed sleep more than food. They had a couple of mini stops on the drive, and she had baked muffins for the drive.

"You let me sleep through the morning." He said groggily,

"You needed it. I figure you can hold out till noon for food,"

"How about you?"

"I had an apple before I got ready, I'm good. I still have a muffin for you if you're hungry."

"Hey you unpacked." He said noticing their empty bags neatly placed in the corner of the room.

"You didn't have to do that, but thank you." He said dropping a kiss on her forehead as he passed her.

"You're welcome." She said nonchalantly. It wasn't the first time they had unpacked for the other. It may have been awhile, but some things just come naturally.

Derek could tell that Penelope was excited to see Mac. Mac Taylor was the only person from her old life that she had left. Being so far away from her own brothers, he was the only one within easy access, and his presence in her life was a significant one. She bounced in the SUV on the drive their grinning with anticipation, and Derek loved that she was so happy, and that she had included him to share the week with her. Mac was waiting anxiously for them at the foyer and broke into a grin at the sight of her. Being an only child, he had taken her on as his own little sister and doted on her from childhood. Like a little girl Penelope ran straight into his big protective arms and buried her head into his chest as he held her close and tight.

"It's so good to see you Bug."

"You too Mac. I've missed you."

"I've missed you too. Hey Derek," he greeted looking up not at all loosening his grasp on Penelope who clung to him just as tightly.

"Hey Mac," Derek replied with a nod,

"Is it my turn to hug her yet?" Stella asked as she approached smiling at the sight before her. Penelope looked up, grinned and then squealed in unison with Stella. Mac reluctantly released her as she and Stella threw their arms around each other jumping like excited jelly beans.

"You'd think they were teenage girls and not grown women," Mac stated with a chuckle.

"That's fresh coming from the man who thinks I'm still twelve with pigtails." Penelope retorted as she and Stella rejoined them.

"Hey Stella," Derek greeted dropping a kiss on her cheek.

"Hey Derek, I'm so glad you can join us for the holidays."

"Thanks for the extended invite."

"The more the merrier." Mac reassured him with a pat on the back.

"Let's lunch, I'm starving." Stella declared earning a knowing laugh from Penelope and Mac.

"She's always hungry." They explained as he nodded.

"We have one of those, and her name is Prentiss."

"I'm going to tell her you said that." Penelope threatened with a smirk.


	8. What appears to be evident

"Are you guys okay?" Stella asked as she and Derek fell back a couple of steps from Mac and Penelope.

"We're getting there. With everything that's been happening with work, with Foyet, Canada, even before all that, we've just started to drift apart. It was almost easier to just let us drift further and further apart, then the whole Tamara thing happened, and it showed both of us, just how far apart we have drifted from each other, and honestly Stell, that scared the living crap out of me. I could survive almost anything, losing her, not one of them."

"Glad to hear it Morgan, I was this close to kicking your ass a couple of months ago, you owe Mac a thank you for stopping me."

"Really, I would have thought he would have been the first one in line."

"Oh he is, but he also knows that despite how hurt, disappointed and even angry Pen may be at you, you mean a lot to her and that she would never want any harm come your way."

"So things seem to be going okay with you two?" Mac observed,

"We're a work in progress. There's things that come naturally so it's like nothings changed, but there are other things that are a little harder to move on from, but we're taking it one day at a time, and he's working his ass off. Well, we both are."

"Hence the invitation to New York."

"Yeah, you don't mind do you?" she asked again,

"Of course not Bug." He said draping an arm over her shoulder and pulling her affectionately closer to him as they walked.

Lunch with Mac and Stella was exactly what Penelope needed to de-stress from the last few months. Derek observed that in the last couple of hours that she had been with Mac and Stella, she had never looked more comfortable and happier than he had seen her these last six months. It wasn't until that moment that he realised that her smiles rarely reached her eyes anymore, it wasn't until that moment that he remembered how much he loved her 1000 watt smile that always left a glint in her eye, like there was a secret that only she knew. Their jobs had taken a toll on all of them, and it seems on Penelope the most. He knew how afraid she was of becoming jaded and he vowed to himself that he wouldn't let her get to that point.

"Derek and I will go shopping, you two go. Seriously Mac, we don't mind. We have nothing else to do. You two do your Crime Scene thing, us BAU people can do the shopping."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes Mac, I am sure. Now go! I've got keys, we'll meet you back at yours with Pizza ready."

They had just finished lunch when Stella and Mac got paged with a homicide. They were supposed to all go shopping for Christmas dinner that afternoon, but with a new case Mac was worried that he wouldn't get a chance to do the big shop so Penelope had offered her and Derek's shopping services.

"Really Mac, we're pros at this. Pen and I usually end up doing the shopping for Thanksgiving at Rossi's. We love it. Really." Derek assured the older man.

"If you two insist."

"We do. Now go. I still remember how to get to your favourite markets."

"Good girl. See you guys soon." Mac gave Penelope another meaningful squeeze, handing her his credit card before he and Stella headed to the crime scene.

"Kind of feels strange not being the one who gets called away."

"I bet. Well enjoy it Agent Morgan, we don't know when Chief Strauss will feel the spirit of giving again."

"That is true. Shall we?"

"Yup, let's go."

Penelope manoeuvred the markets expertly as she always did in Virginia. It was an art from that Derek enjoyed watching. Hours and several bags later, they stepped into Mac's apartment. It was a decent sized apartment with two bedrooms. The other bedroom was normally where she stayed on her visits, but with Hawkes crashing at Mac's it was on loan, which she didn't mind. It had a large functioning kitchen that Penelope loved to use. Derek could tell that she was well acquainted with the place. He looked around the apartment and saw that though Mac was a minimalist, he was also a sentimental guy. There were photos on the ledge of his fireplace of his parents, his team and Penelope.

"Great photo P." Derek said pointing to the photo of an eighteen year old Mac who had a twelve year old Penelope with pigtails on his back. They were both looking at each other laughing.

"Yeah, it's one of my favourites. He had one made for me on canvas for my birthday. It's in my bedroom." She said answering the look on his face that was clearly searching her apartment in his mind. It had been quite some time since he had set foot in her bedroom. In her apartment,

"When was this taken?" he asked pointing at the picture of Mac and Penelope sitting at the front steps of her apartment building,

"My Birthday, he came to spend my birthday with me. Stella arrived that afternoon and we were hanging out at front waiting for her, she took that shot."

"I thought you were away for your birthday this year." He recalled,

"I was. Away from the office. With Haley and Jack still in protective custody and Foyet out and about, I didn't feel comfortable being too far away in case Hotch needed me. That and Hotch did ask me to stay because he was worried Foyet may get to me too. He knew I was around." Derek nodded. He had promised they would do something for her birthday and they just never got around to it. Before tension could seep into the room Penelope quickly changed the subject and started unpacking the groceries.


	9. Decisions

By the time Mac got home with Stella and the rest of the team, Derek and Penelope were deep into the preparation stage. They had chopped, peeled and kneaded. Mac always dressed the bird himself, famous for his secret herbs and spices.

"Wow, you two are good." Stella praised as her eyes fell to Mac's rather large countertop now covered in food.

"Penelope Garcia as I live and breathe," Donnie greeted pulling her into his arms and hugging her tightly.

"I've missed you too Don. All of you." She assured them as she hugged each of them hello.

"You guys, this is Derek Morgan."

"Ahh, the famous Derek Morgan." Flack said with a loaded chuckle earning a slap on the back of the head from Penelope.

"Don't start now Flack, you know she'll have your head on a platter by the end of the evening if you keep badgering." Mac reminded Detective Flack amused,

"Okay okay. It's good to have you back Megsy."

"Megsy?" Penelope turned to Derek to explain the nickname,

"Red hair, Ginger Meggs the cartoon strip."

"Ahh…"

Mac had just finished stuffing the bird and was leaving it overnight to soak in the maximum flavour, when Penelope joined him in the kitchen where he had banned them all half an hour before to get the bird ready. As Derek conversed easily with the others, his eyes discreetly followed Penelope wherever she went. He watched as she approached Mac after he had washed his hands and wrapped her arms around his waist. With a smile Mac had enveloped her into his arms hugging her tightly.

"Rooftop?"

"Way ahead of you." She replied handing him the cup of Hot Chocolate she had put aside for him when she made one for everyone. Mac laughed and followed as she led the way.

"So your thoughts?" he pried as she leaned against the ledge overlooking the city.

"Tempting," she began as he waited for her to finish her thought,

"But I want to make sure that I am doing it for all the right reasons."

"The wrong reasons would be?" he asked playing Devils advocate though he already knew,

"That I am doing it to run away,"

"Are you?"

"In the beginning yeah, it was easier to remove myself from the equation. Resident runner and all."

"And now?"

"Now I see what a great opportunity it is for me, and I think why not. I'm not getting any younger, and nothing aside my comforts are really keeping me in Virginia."

"Can you really leave him?" Mac asked gently,

"I'm not a teenager or some love sick girl in her twenties pining for a boy. If the last few months have taught me anything it's that we can be apart and we won't die from it. All this time our lives have been so intertwined that when he fell out of my life, I thought that was the end. Some twenty first century girl I turned out to be huh?" she said with a smile

"You know whatever you decide, I got your back."

"I know, which is why I'm pow wowing with you and not Stella, because as biased as you are, you tend to lean more on the Switzerland."

"Have you discussed it with anyone at the BAU?" Penelope nodded,

"Hotch, I felt like I owed him that much, and Dave because he's become a you for me at the BAU, more Godfatherly than brotherly though. Think Mafia." Mac chuckled, he knew of David Rossi and his reputation, the good and the bad, and he had great respect for him, even more so after he found out just how much he looked out for Penelope, especially in the last few months.

"What were Hotchner's reaction?"

"Predictably stoic," she answered with a shrug. Truth was the Big Boss man wasn't one for emotion, and never have been so she didn't really expect one from him.

"Did you him to ask you to stay?"

"If he did, I probably would, so let's say no."

"What if He downstairs asks you to stay?"

"Before we have that conversation Mac, I would have already decided. You know how I work."

"That I do Bug. That I do." He said draping an arm around her shoulder and dropping his lips to her temple.

"Does anyone else know?" she asked,

"Just Stell, I figured you would tell the others after you make that decision. It would have been hard enough without those guys weighing in, you know they've been trying to brow beat you into crossing over to us for years now." Penelope laughed knowingly.


	10. Merry Christmas

Derek couldn't help but notice that something was up, aside from being a profiler, despite the time and distance between him and his best friend recently, he could still read her, and felt that there was something she was holding back on.

By the time Mac and Penelope descended from the roof top, the pizza had arrived. Penelope smiled as Derek handed her a plate already filled with her favourite toppings.

"Thanks Morgs,"

"So what is everyone getting here tomorrow?" Danny asked in between mouthfuls

"Around two?" Donnie answered while Mac nodded. Penelope and Stella were coming in earlier to help with the final touches,

"You up for a little Basketball Morgan?" Danny asked. Derek threw a look at Penelope,

"You should play with the boys. I can meet you back here. I was going to come early to help with prep anyway."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Of course. Have fun. But careful, those two cheat."

"Hey!" Donnie and Danny said in protest.

"Mac why don't you play, Stell and I can get things up and running here. It's just a matter of shoving things in the oven anyway,"

"Yeah Mac, you should play with the boys. It'll be good to have a girl's catch up. Why don't you get dropped off here Linds when Danny picks up the boys?" Stella suggested,

"That sounds great, I'll let you know. It all depends on little miss here," Lindsay answered pointing at the sleeping tot in her arms.

With plans made for the following day Penelope and Derek headed back to their hotel. Yawning Penelope let Derek open the door to their hotel room while she leaned against the doorframe waiting.

"Come on Baby Girl, you're almost there." He said amused,

"Awesome! Just point me towards the bed."

"How about I lead you to the bathroom first," he said gently pushing her towards the direction of the bathroom.

"Mmm kay," she murmured sleepily. Washing her face, brushing her teeth and jumping into her pj's took no time at all, which always impressed Derek. She was the only woman he knew who could get ready so fast.

"Night Handsome." She said dropping her lips on his head before heading straight into her bed,

"Night Baby Girl. Sleep tight." He replied tucking her in running his fingers through her hair till she fell into a deep sleep.

The following morning Penelope and Derek arrived at Mac's at ten in the morning. Just as they drove into the parking lot, Stella had just gotten out of her car.

"Hey Stella Bella." Penelope greeted cheerfully. Derek watched as the two women exchanged a meaningful hug,

"I spoke to Olivia last night in my incoherent state on the way back to the hotel, and she's going to come over early too. She should be here in a half hour."

"Excellent! The three muskeeters together again."

"Mac would be so pleased." Penelope commented dryly earning a knowing chuckle from Stella.

Stella and Penelope shooed the boys out of the house the moment they walked in, knowing that they were meeting Donnie and Danny at 10:30. Olivia arrived not long after that.

"So have you told him about the job offer?" Olivia asked,

"No, I haven't really told anyone except Dave and Hotch. I was going to tell Derek sometime during this trip, after Christmas."

"P, regardless when you decide to do it, it's going to be just as hard." Stella said gently,

"I know that, I do. As selfish as it sounds, I want it to be an angst free Christmas. I can deal with all that other stuff after Christmas, but for now, I just want to enjoy the holidays."

"Fair enough. How are things with you both?"

"Better Liv, much better than your visit on my birthday."

"Good, because I was ready to go all ghetto on him when I saw him" Olivia declared in admission.

Christmas dinner was a festive family affair. The teasing back and forth was like of those between siblings, and there certainly was no shortage of love in the room. Stella, Mac, Penelope, Olivia, Donnie, Sheldon and Derek went to midnight mass, as per tradition as Danny and Lindsay took Lucy home to bed. Derek draped an arm around Penelope's shoulder as she shivered during mass. Penelope did not miss the smirk that Olivia had on her face that she caught at the corner of her eye, she made a mental note to give her smack when she got a chance. After midnight mass they all went their separate ways agreeing to meet back at Mac's the following morning to open presents and have brunch.

When Penelope and Derek got back to their hotel room, they both dug into their bags to pull out each other's presents. Though they had both dropped off most of their presents at Mac's for the opening of presents the next morning, they had both kept one to give the other unbeknown to the other.

"Merry Christmas," they said in unison as they handed each other a gift. Penelope curiously took the Tiffany Box from him and gasped as she saw that he had bought her a Tiffany Somerset ring. She looked up at him with questioning eyes. Derek took the ring from her and slipped in on to her middle finger.

"I love you P, you're my best friend in the whole world, and I may have seemingly forgotten that, but I want you to know that I never did. I get so lost into my own head sometimes and I hide, but it doesn't mean I've stopped caring. I wasn't quite sure what to get you this year, but the moment I saw this I thought of you, so I wanted you to have it so that when you saw it, you would think of me, and you would remember that I am always here for you, that I always will be." With tears in her eyes Penelope placed a hand on his cheek and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

"Thank you Derek. Here, Merry Christmas." She said handing him her present. Derek grinned as his eyes fell on the watch that he has had his eye on for months. He hadn't even told her about it.

"I thought you could use a new watch." She explained pointing to his worn out, well loved watch.

"Thanks Baby Girl. I love it." Derek pulled her into his arms and hugged her.

"I love you too Derek, just so you know." She whispered against his ear. Derek pulled back to look at her and grinned,

"It's always good to hear Princess."


	11. The hardest part is telling you

After a somewhat over indulging day of Christmas festivities at Mac's, Penelope and Derek decided to walk back to their hotel to sober up and walk off the food and alcohol they consumed, thankful that they had picked a hotel that was within reasonable walking distance from Mac's place. They had been walking in semi silence for a few minutes, lost in their own thoughts when Derek took her hand in his,

"P, what's going on?" Surprised, Penelope couldn't come up with a cover right then and there. She let out a deep sigh and gave his hand a meaningful squeeze.

"Just so you know, I hadn't made a decision till I got here, and that's why I didn't want to talk it over with you first, because I know what you would have said, and I'm not very good at saying no to you, so I knew I needed to make this decision on my own."

"What is it P?" he asked with growing concern,

"I'm going to take the position at CSI has been offering me for a few years. It's in development of software for a fast tracking system, it's to help analysts like me find the bad guys quicker, to get you superheroes back to your families faster. At the same time I will be working with Mac's team when they need a hand. Which would be a new experience for me, and to be quite honest, it would be nice to not be so close the gore you know." Unconsciously, his grip on her hand had become a little firmer.

"Is this what you really want P?"

"After a lot of thought, yeah. I am going to miss you all like crazy, but I feel that this would be something I would be doing for me you know? My career."

"Then as much as I am going miss you, you need to do what's right for you."

"Thanks Morgs," Derek stopped walking and drew her into a hug.

"Wherever you are, you will always be my best friend. You hear me. No distance will ever change that." Penelope choked back the tears she could feel begin to form.

"I'll miss you." She muttered into his chest.

"Baby, there are no words to convey just how much I'm going to miss you." He confessed feeling his heart break at every word. Penelope tightened the arms that hugged him around the middle as he drew her closer. As sad as she was to be leaving, she knew it was the right decision.


	12. Sometimes peace brings you pain

For the rest of their time in New York, Derek and Penelope tried to resume their holiday without the knowledge that she was leaving. For the most part, they succeeded, but there were moments when Derek couldn't help but just want to grab hold of Penelope and never let her go. He couldn't believe that he had distanced himself from her at all, and now she was leaving, and it scared him. What would distance bring to their already estranged lives?

"Did you want to come in?" Penelope asked as they pulled up in front of her apartment building.  
"I might go do some washing and pick up Clooney first. Is it okay, if I came back this afternoon?"  
"Of course Derek. I'll see you later on today. I might give the others a call and see if they're up for pizza tonight."  
"Sounds good. Thank you for sharing your holidays with me Baby Girl."  
"Are you kidding? I had a blast. I couldn't have imagined a better Christmas or New Year."  
"Me too Sweetheart." Derek dropped a kiss on her cheek. Penelope smiled as he jumped out from his side to grab her bags from the back.  
"I'll see you soon later on today."  
"That you will." He promised giving her a hug after dropping her bags into her room.

Penelope made her calls, did her washing and gave her apartment a once over before the others were due to come. In her mind she was already organizing how to pack up her place. A sad smile crept in as she collated the many memories she shared with those she loved so much in her apartment, and even then, she knew she was doing the right thing. She had planned for the girls to arrive earlier, knowing that she needed to speak to them and tell them alone. The team on a whole were close, but as the three girls of their male dominated team, they stuck together and shared a bond.

"So I asked you girls to come earlier because there's something I wanted to talk to you about."  
"You and Morgan hooked up in New York?" Emily threw in excitedly that Penelope had to laugh, of course they would assume that.  
"No cupcake we did not hook up in New York. I have news. You both know that Mac Taylor has been offering me a position for years in his team, he's finally made me an offer that I can't refuse." There was an inward gasp from both her friends as their faces conveyed the shock and somewhat horror they felt.  
"So you're moving to New York?" JJ uttered the work hesitantly as though if it was said out loud it would mean it was permanent.  
"Yeah Sugar, I am. I will be heading a team that creates software for the CSI. The project I'll be working on is a software to for a superior tracking system that helps analysts like myself find the information you need to enable you to catch unsubs faster."  
"Wow, that sounds right up your alley Garcie." Emily replied in agreement. She also knew that Penelope was struggling with the gore that just kept getting worse with each case she received.  
"When do you head out?" JJ asked,  
"After I speak to Hotch I'd say the standard few weeks. I need to start by the beginning of February, but if Hotch needs me to wrangle someone in my place and train them, Mac is pretty flexible."  
"Does Morgan know?" Em inquired,  
"Yeah, he managed to brow beat it out of me on Christmas day. He's fine. I think the separation these last couple of months have made it somewhat easier." Em didn't believe in her words any more than Penelope herself did.

Her news hit the team hard and a part of Derek was glad that she had told them while he wasn't there, as he was pretty sure he would not have been able to handle hearing it the second time around. Reid's abandonment issues flared, unable to fathom life at the BAU without Penelope, it made his head hurt thinking about it. Hotch remained his stoic self, while Dave was openly heartbroken that she was leaving. The girls had rallied around her supportively, to which she was eternally grateful for. She drew strength from them, and knew she was going to miss them. All of them.

Penelope was getting the plates ready for the pizza when Hotch approached her hesitantly, unable to form into words how he truly felt.

"This is great opportunity for you Penelope and I am so proud of you. But, you must know one thing before you leave us,"  
"What's that Aaron?"  
"That you will be taking a huge chunk of what makes the heart of this team. You will be missed." Surprised, Penelope gave him a small and appreciative smile,  
"I'll miss you guys too, and thank you." She leaned over and wrapped her arms around him. Hotch returned the hug hugging her fiercely, knowing just what they were losing, losing her.


	13. Coming to terms wiith losing you

As the weeks drew to a quick close, Derek could feel himself unravel bit by bit unprepared for the inevitable. He couldn't imagine his life without her. To have her so far away, unable to touch her, be with her. It seemed inconceivable but he knew finality was just around the corner. They all tried to maximize the time she had left by being with her at every chance they got, only now realizing just how huge of a part she had held in their lives. Penelope made sure she had allocated sufficient time to spend with Jack. Even before his mother had died he had been close to Penelope but after Hayley had died, he had clung to her, as someone drowning gasps for air. It was a bond Hotch was grateful for.

Penelope's friend Jo Danville had just moved to New York with her daughter Ellie and started working at CSI Headquarters which made Penelope even more excited to move to New York. With Stella gone to her new post after her promotion she was already starting to feel her absence, but when she received the email from Jo, it made her excitement rise the next level. It had been years since she had last seen her friend and though they had kept in touch by phone, email and text it wasn't the same.

"Serious?" Penelope exclaimed excitedly. Jo laughed at her friends enthusiasm. The two of them had been carrying on like college girlfriends since they found out they were going to be working at the same place.

"Yes I'm serious. It's only a one bedroom but the room is rather large and not just for New York. It's across the hall from me, and right next door to Mac."

"Did Mac murder his whole floor?" Penelope joked,

"To make sure you lived near him so he can look out for you, I would not put it past him."

"Oh hey no fair! Those boys have already started filling your head with lies." she protested referring to Donny, Danny and Sheldon.

"Nope, my own personal observation. All I hear is Mags this, Mags that. That man adores you."

"Well I am rather adorable!"

"Not to mention humble." Jo teased,

"Sooooo, do you want me to send photos, or are you going to come down for a weekend. Which I am not at all opposed to. You can stay with me."

"Not that I don't trust your judgement or Mac's because it does sound perfect but I wouldn't mind coming down to sort out other things too before the move. Is this weekend good for you? The team will be out on a case and I was going to give my replacement a trial without me. Obviously he can call me but I'm trying to get him comfortable in the office and make it his own."

"Yep, this weekend is good for me. Ellie is looking forward to seeing you."

"Aww, you tell her me too." Penelope noticed Derek by her doorway, and she flashed him a smile,

"Listen Jo, I have to go. I will call you tonight to sort out this weekend. Thank you so much for having a look at the apartment for me. It sounds great."

"It was a pleasure P. I will see you soon."

"Hey Handsome, you guys getting ready to go?" she asked knowing that they were about to leave for their next case.

"Yeah, in the next half hour. You going to New York this weekend?"

"Yeah, Mac and Jo found an apartment for me. Conveniently in their building and floor. I'm going to check it out. I'll be helping the rookie tonight but it's all him tomorrow. Hotch and I thought it would be good to let him take the reigns while I was still around to gauge how he goes. I'll have my gear with me while I'm in New York so if you guys get stuck I can still try and help from wherever I am."

"Sounds like a good plan. When do you get back?" he asked somewhat worriedly,

"I'll only be gone a couple of days, I'll be back in time for when you guys get back." She said reassuring him, acutely aware of his sudden separation anxiety.

"You okay?" she asked somewhat worriedly.

"Yeah P I'm good."

"You know you can call me any time, any where. You know that don't you? That whether I am here on in New York, I'll still be there for you. You mean a lot to me Derek and that doesn't change just because I've moved to another state." Derek met her gaze and saw only heart felt sincerity.

"I know. I just can't imagine not having you near by you know. I've been so spoilt and to think in just a couple of weeks you'll be gone. My heart is having a hard time catching up thats all." Penelope rose to her feet and proprieties be damned she crossed the room and wrapped her arms around him, immediately being engulfed into his embrace. Derek buried his face into her shoulder.

"We'll be okay Morgs." she promised murmuring in his ear as she ran her fingers soothingly on his neck, but Derek just held her tighter.


	14. Questioning one's motives

Penelope found herself feeling a guilty as she boarded the plane to New York even though she knew there was no reason to. A part of her found herself questioning her own motives. Had she only taken this position to see him unravel as he undoubtedly was before here very eyes. Did she only want to take something away from him that he had taken from her. So that he could feel a smidgen of what she had felt when he abandoned her, but no, it was more than that. Her life had been so intertwined with Morgan from the moment they met. As the corny Jerry Maguire quote goes, he had here at hello. Or in their case 'Baby Girl...' Though their adoration was unquestioningly mutual, in her heart she knew she had always wanted more from Morgan. Her reaction to Tamara Barnes killed any false pretenses she had with herself, and she knew her friends deduced as much. Only Morgan had remained oblivious to it all, which to her was a tell tale sign that the feelings she felt were far from reciprocated. The realization broke her heart and every moment she spent with him these days only hurt her. They had a great Christmas together and she would treasure him always, but being in such close vicinity only inflicted unnecessary pain. Pain she decided was too much.

Though she didn't expect him to be there, she wasn't at all surprised to see Mac waiting for her at the airport. Nor did she blink an eye to see Jo standing beside him grinning widely. Penelope broke into a huge smile and walked straight into their embrace, feeling immediately at home squashing the doubts that plagued her in her short plane ride.

"Oh my word after so long we are finally in the same room." Jo declared happily keeping the arm she threw around her friend sit comfortably on her shoulder.  
"Should the prospect of the two of you together scare me?" Mac asked uncertainly  
"Probably!" they replied in unison as they broke apart to link an arm through each to his.  
"Lord help me," he muttered, but the glint in his eyes was hard to miss.  
"So tell me again how you two know each other?"  
"When I first got to Virginia Jo was my first friend,"  
"This is THE JO?" he asked with emphasis and a raised eyebrow.  
"You told him everything we got up to didn't you?"  
"Well, he's like my brother and he has that whole interrogation thing down pat. When I first started I was rather shy, and Jo took me under her wing. How's Tyler and my not so little Ellie."  
"Both growing like weeds. Mac met Ellie couple of weeks ago. Tyler is busy, he has loads of work all the time, and he's picked up a job as an intern in a law firm. He's loving it."  
"Ellie adjusting slowly?" Penelope asked knowingly. Though Jo and Penelope had not see each other for a couple of years due to their work schedules never synching, they kept in close contact. Penelope knew each child closely and personally.  
"Yep, slowly. Mac had to witness little miss' demand to return to Virginia."  
"She's a fireball."  
"I'm starting to think she takes right after her mother." Mac replied earning a chuckle from Jo.  
"You'll find that out soon enough." Penelope assured him,  
"Hey you're supposed to be on my side." Jo said in protest.  
"Oops, sorry!"  
"Anyway, Ellie is very excited at the prospect of you staying with us this weekend. Don't you even start Taylor, I called dibs first." Jo said warningly.  
"Children, no need to fight. I will be your neighbour soon enough."  
"You can stay with me you know. I do have a spare room, a room you claimed yours when you visit."  
"I know, and I appreciate that. But I wouldn't mind my own place. Something tells me that JJ and Emily will be regular visitors and as much as you love me, that would get old real quick."  
"And Derek?"  
"I don't know hey." Penelope said absently. Jo and Mac exchanged a glance and dropped the subject. 


	15. Everybody gets a chance to say Goodbye

Penelope immediately fell in love with the one bedroom apartment on Jo and Mac's building. It was rather large and not just by New York standards. Mac grinned as he watched Penelope beam with excitement. It had been awhile since he had seen her so at peace.

"Look at her, she's already decorating in her head." Jo observed knowingly. Mac smiled realizing just how well Jo knew Penelope which was not at all an easy feat.

"It took some time but I broke her." she replied to his silent realization. Mac only chuckled knowing that if anyone could it would Jo. Penelope was walking around the place opening every door and cupboard.

"I'll take it." she declared as the real estate agent happily nodded and went to make the necessary phone calls to make the arrangements. Mac pulled her into a hug and dropped a kiss on her temple.

"It's time." she said softly as silent tears began to well in her eyes. The apartment had solidified the decision she knew was long time coming.

After finalizing the apartment Penelope spent the next couple of days with Jo, Ellie and Mac. Tyler had joined them one afternoon excited to have Penelope closer at hand. Mac knew that Penelope was torn between two minds, or more to the point, two hearts. She loved the BAU, and her BAU family, but she loved New York too and wanted to begin a new life that she's been longing for. Penelope wasn't at all surprised to see Derek standing at the arrivals waiting for her. Though she didn't really ask him to, it was almost a given that he would be there. It was reminiscent of who they used to be with each other, who they once were in each other's life, the people that she had almost forgotten they were.

"Hey Morgs." She greeted with a smile. Derek had to almost sigh with relief that she was happy to see him, uncertain of how she would take him being there.  
"Hey Baby Girl," he replied drawing her into a hug,  
"How'd you go?" he asked.  
"Well, I'm all set." She answered into his shoulder. She felt his grip around her tighten, and the tears in her eyes begin to well up.  
"That's great princess. So when do we start packing you up?" Derek inquired trying to put on a brave face as he reluctantly pulled back to look at her.  
"Soon…" she answered with a gulp. Derek dropped his lips on her forehead.  
"Well, we better get started then." Penelope found herself hugging his middle that little bit tighter.

Penelope appreciated Derek's solidarity and support and for the days that came he was there helping her pack up her apartment, getting her ready for her new life. Her new life without him.

On the night before she was due to leave, the team had thrown her a farewell dinner at one of their favourite haunts, Halliwells. They had spent many nights in that place after a hard case, loosening up and just having a good time. A lot of great memories lived in Halliwells and it was the perfect place to end an important era. An era without their Penelope Garcia.

"A toast to Penelope…" Rossi said standing up from where he sat,

"Kitten, to say it has been an experience to work with you would be an understatement. You are the brightness we look to when our days are dark, and I don't think you have an idea of how much that means to each and every one of us, and how vital you have been to get us over whatever mountain that stood in our way. It is with a heavy heart that I say good luck. I know whatever you do from here on out, you will just continue to shine as you have here at the BAU. I wish you nothing but the best, and know that I along with the rest of these guys will miss you." Penelope, who felt like she had been crying most of the day began the waterworks again as they all raised their glass in her honour. Hotch took the lead, and stood up,  
"Garcia, whether you know it or not, you have been an anchor to this team. You are what grounds us, and you are what leads us home. Not only in our professional life, but also in our personal life. You will never know just how vital you have been in getting Jack through the hardest days of his short life, and what in turn that has meant to me. I am a man of a few words Penelope, but know this, you are valued and you will be missed." Hotch held her gaze till he was certain she heard what his heart was trying to say. Penelope only nodded in assurance, that she got what he tried to hard to convey. When the girls stood up together, she knew she was in for it.  
"Garcie, we love you." Emily started tearing up as she spoke,  
"You know that we will miss you. It won't be the same without you. Thank you for being the friend who is always there for each and every one of us. No matter what was going on in your life, you never failed to make us feel as though whatever drama we were in the middle of was less than important. You were the first person who made me feel like I belonged here at the BAU and I don't think I could ever express in words how much that meant to me, and how it was what kept me coming back through those doors, day after day till I believed that this is where I was meant to be. You have this amazing ability to brighten anyone's day, whether it be a dark day, or just a grey day. It goes without saying that you are the best friend anyone could ask for and I will miss you so much." Emily finished handing it over to JJ as she leaned over to her friend and hugged her tightly.

"No fair, she stole most of my lines." JJ stated wiping her own tears away,  
"Garcie, I don't know what I'm going to do knowing I won't be able to walk into your office for a moments reprieve when I need it the most. The three muskeeters is now down to two, and you're taking our heart with you. I know you'll only be a couple of hours away, and that this isn't goodbye, but I can't help but be sad to know that you will no longer be there at the end of every day. I love you Pen. I hope CSI New York knows what they're getting and appreciate what you bring to the table." Penelope reached over and hugged her friend. Reid stood to his feet,  
"I'll always only be a phone call away. I promise you that."  
"I guess it's my turn. I don't really have much to say except, thank you. Thank you for being the sister that I never had. Thank you for always looking out for me. For being there for me. For loving me so unconditionally. For being you in my life. I'm going to miss you." Spencer Reid managed to squeak out. Penelope stood to her feet to cross over to where he stood and pulled him into her arms,  
"I think I am going to miss you most of all Scarecrow." She whispered in his ear, as he choked in a sob burying his face on her shoulder.

"So I guess it's my turn huh?" Derek said standing to his feet. Penelope didn't think her heart could take anymore, but here he was, her supposed best friend about to give his two cents,  
"Baby Girl, it's been many years since I have uttered those words. I guess I have to thank my incredibly bad memory that brought us together and started the best thing in my life. Your friendship has meant the world to me, and a couple of years ago when I told you that you were my God given solace, that was only a fraction of what you are to me. You are the best friend I could have asked for and I am grateful that I have had you in my life, and though you may be moving to another state, taking my heart as well as the rest of ours with you, know that you will always be my Baby Girl. My best friend. The person without the exception of my mother and sisters that I love most in the world. I wish you all the best Princess. I know you are going to be awesome wherever you are, and wherever you are, I will never be too far away. I love you Baby Girl."  
"I love you too." She mouthed back at him from where she stood sandwiched between Emily and JJ.


	16. You scared me!

font-face { font-family: "Times"; }font-face { font-family: "Calibri"; }font-face { font-family: "Tahoma"; }, , { margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }1 { page: Section1; }

"Come on Baby Girl answer the phone…" Derek said desperately as he and the rest of their team watched the news of the shooting in the CSI office in horror.

Penelope had been in New York for a couple of months. Though it was difficult to say goodbye to her life and family in Virginia, she embraced the new chapter of her life with open arms. Those closest to her could see the she was thriving, and as much as her BAU crew missed her, the evident change in her did not allow them the liberty of regret. She was where she needed to be.

Derek and Penelope saying goodbye was epic to say the least. As it would be being Morgan and Garcia. She had stayed with Derek on her last night after her farewell dinner. Most of her belongings had already been shipped and all that were left in Virginia was a small suitcase, her laptop and handbag. Everyone had insisted on sending her off at the airport therefore she didn't hesitate when Derek had insisted she stay with him, knowing they would need their own time to say their goodbye. Penelope was uncertain of where the road was to take them, and it was equally important to her that they get their proper closure for the season.

It was three in the morning and they had reluctantly said goodnight to the rest of the team only an hour before. Derek had handed Penelope a mug of hot chocolate to her specifications of 10 little marshmallows heaped on the top.

"Thanks Morgs." She said with a grin as he sat down beside her,  
"So are you excited P?" he asked.  
"I really am. I know I am going to miss you all like crazy, but I also know that this is the right thing for me. It's time. You and I both know that I was never going to be a lifer. You, Hotch, and even Em, it runs deep within your veins. I was just a ring in."  
"A valuable one at that. I don't want to know what it's like when you're not there come Monday morning." He admitted quietly, not wanting to make her feel guiltier than what he already knew she was feeling.  
"It'll be different for us all, but just because I don't work here anymore doesn't mean I'm not in your life anymore. Where we end up is our choice. Time, distance and change has the potential to estrange us all. We just have to work on it," Derek nodded seemingly lost in his thoughts for a moment.  
"Hey Morgs, where did you go?" she asked placing a hand on his arm. Derek forced himself out of his reverie and gave her a small smile,  
"I don't want you to think I'm just making you promises on the fly here P, but I promise you, we'll never get to that part you're so worried about."  
"You can't promise me that Derek, heck even I can't promise you that." Penelope said glancing away,  
"Then promise me that you'd at least try. Please P," She turned to meet his gaze,  
"Of course." Derek shuffled closer to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Penelope moulded into his embrace as she lay her head on his chest. They stayed in that position till they fell asleep, only waking up when Penelope's alarm had gone off to remind her that she needed to get up for her new life that awaited her.

To say that it was a tearful farewell would be an understatement. Upon laying eyes on each other JJ, Emily and Penelope began the waterworks. While the men tried their best to remain composed, and only barely did they succeed.

"Aunt P, I'm going to miss you." Little Jack Hotchner said sadly as he clung tightly to her.  
"And I am going to miss you like crazy my little man. But remember how I taught you how to video skype me, and you know you can call me any time for anything okay. Even if it's just because you felt like it. I promise I will be there waiting. So you call me okay?" Jack nodded tearfully.  
"I love you Aunt P."  
"And I love you Pumpkin. Up to the moon and back again." Hotch had to avert his eyes elsewhere knowing he was ready to crack. Though he knew the bond between his son and friend, watching their exchange was heart wrenching. Reluctantly he pried Jack from Penelope's arms and into his own. Penelope kissed the top of Jack's head and accepted Hotch's meaningful hug with his free arm.  
"You take care of yourself Penelope Garcia. Know that you will always be a part of this family. If you need anything, you call. You hear me."  
"I hear you Aaron, and thank you. You Hotchner men take care of each other. You have a very special place in my heart and I want you two to be happy." Hotch nodded,  
"Back at you."

"Well Kitten, you come and visit often. If anyone gives you a hard time you tell me and I'll sort them out for you." Penelope grinned into Dave's firm embrace, ever the Godfather he was.  
"I will, and should you and technology have another disagreement, you call me and I'll get you through it,"  
"Thank you Bella."

"You feel like you're drowning you call me. Promise me Spencer Reid." She whispered in his ear as she held him tightly to her. Out of them all, she worried about him the most.  
"I promise Penelope. I promise."

"Tell him how you feel."  
"I can't P." Em replied quietly in their huddle.  
"Life's too short honey. He cares about you. He's just scared. But it's there. Take it. Take it for all of us hopeless romantics out there still searching. You've found him. Go for it. You deserve it."  
"I'm going to miss you P."  
"And I am going to miss you Emily Prentiss."

"I know you think that I'm the glue that keeps us together, but it's you Jayje and you do an amazing job at it."  
"What am I going to do without you?"  
"I'm only a phone call away Jayje. I'll still be on the other side of the phone. I'm always going to be just a call away. You need me, and I am on the next flight out."  
"Promise?"  
"Cross my heart," Penelope promised as she gave JJ and Henry one last hug before turning to Derek. His face conveyed every emotion she felt. Her heart dropped at the realisation that she was leaving him, leaving behind every thing that made them what they were, and the possibility that she lose him altogether as a result took her breath away.

"Hey hey princess, none of that." He said immediately engulfing her in his arms. Penelope buried her face into his chest as his lips remained on her head.  
"We'll be fine Princess. I am always going to be here for you. You will always be my best friend. You got it?" Penelope breathed him and nodded. Derek raised her chin to meet his gaze,  
"You hear me?"  
"Right back at you Morgan. Just because I am no here, does not give you a free pass to throw yourself on to any oncoming danger. Do I make myself clear?"  
"Crystal Baby." He swore crossing his heart.

When they announced the final call to board Derek tightened his hold on her one last time.

"I love you Baby Girl."  
"I love you too Morgs." With a final kiss to her forehead he released her. Penelope glanced at each one of them and smiled.  
"I love you guys." She blew them a kiss and entered the automatic doors. Leaving them all in tears, and a feeling of hollowness in her departure.

"You have reached the voicemail of Penelope Garcia…"  
"HOTCH, no answer on her cell phone." Derek said somewhat desperately.  
"Oh Garcie." JJ said in anguish,  
"I'm sure she's fine you guys. I'm on hold trying to find someone who can tell us something. Let's not panic till we know something." Rossi piped in trying to prevent panic.  
"Hotch, I…"  
"Derek, I know you want to jump in your car and drive there but let's wait till we know something. I don't want your driving in this state. If I still can't get in touch with anyone in ten minutes I will drive us all out there." Derek knew that Hotch was being reasonable and nodded, praying that all was okay with Penelope. Within moments his cell phone began to ring,

"Baby Girl, are you okay?" He answered in panicked voice.  
"I'm fine honey. A few scratches here and there but I'm fine. I need to go hon, but I figured you guys would be worried as soon as it hit the air, so before you jumped in your car I thought I better call to assure you that I am fine." She said knowingly with a smile.  
"Are you sure, you don't sound right?"  
"I'm just shook up honey. I'll call you once things settle down here."  
"Are you sure you don't want me to jump on a plane?"  
"Love you to, always. Is it really necessary, not so much. But I love you for asking."  
"You change your mind you call okay."  
"I will."  
"And P,"  
"Yeah Morgs?"  
"I love you too."  
"I guessed as much. You give the rest of the fam a hug for me and assure them I'm fine. I'll give them a call later."  
"No problems. You make sure you get a once over and keep us posted."  
"Of course."

"She says she's fine, but she sounds pretty shook up. Hotch?"  
"I'll drive you to the airport. Jayve booked you a flight while you were on the phone." Hotch replied knowing what he was about to ask.  
"Thanks, I just want to make sure."  
"You'd be putting all of us at ease. Grab your Go bag, we don't have much time."

"I'm fine Mac, really." She said trying to reassure him knowing that he was equally shook up. He was in the office when the shots that seemed to go on forever started. He had ducked for cover and had seen that she was on the floor trying not to get caught in the crossfire. Without thinking he ran towards her covering her with his own body, shielding her head from the shards of glass flying everywhere. He had gotten them to safety escaping with a few scratches, but both were shaken. Penelope was the closest thing to family he had and the thought of almost losing her right before his eyes shook him to the core.  
"So much for you being safer here." He said dryly.  
"Mac, that's not the same and you know it. Today wasn't your fault. Hear me when I tell you that."  
"I was the target and you were almost taken out in the crossfire. The people I care about most in the world is in this office, and today could have ended so much worse."  
"But it didn't. We are all fine. Most importantly you're okay. I don't know what I would have done if it ended as that shooter intended." Mac tightened the arm around her shoulder.  
"We'll get him Bug, don't you worry. I'll be fine."  
"You better be." Mac smiled and dropped a kiss on her temple.  
"Did you check in?" he asked knowingly. Penelope smiled sheepishly,  
"Yes, I did."  
"Was he already on his way here?"  
"Not quite. Car park maybe." She answered elbowing him in the stomach.  
"Are you sure?" he asked pointing towards the Headquarters double doors as Derek Morgan appeared before them. Penelope jumped to her feet and within moments she was in his arms. Mac chuckled softly and patted Derek's shoulder as he headed out.  
"You keep your promise Mac Taylor." Penelope called out to him without stepping out of Derek's arms.  
"You can bet on it Kiddo."

Derek took her face in both hands to get a better look at her. Relieved that she was in one piece.

"I told you I was okay."  
"Well I wanted to see for myself. Well we all did, you almost had all of us. You scared me to death P."  
"I was pretty scared too." She admitted burying her face deeper into his embrace.  
"Hey, I got you Baby Girl." Penelope didn't want to admit to herself just how much better she felt just by his presence, and what that meant.

**Hope you all enjoyed that. Thank you so much for the reviews.**


	17. Do you see it?

"Baby Girl," he answered, the mere sound of her voice stirred a peace within him that he sorely needed at that point.  
"Hi Baby. You okay?" she asked concerned laced with emotion. It had been weeks since he had come to New York to make sure she was okay after the shooting, and words could not eloquently describe how grateful she was that he had come. She didn't realize just how much she needed him, till he was standing before her. Morgan got to see her life in New York and though he missed her like crazy, he had never seen her more relaxed and happy, and that was enough for him.  
"I'm torn between wanting to know once and for all, but at the same time a part of me feels that if I don't know for sure, there's a chance that someday she'll turn up you know?" he confessed lowering his head to his knees as he sat on the chair in the empty office. Reid and Rossi had vacated the room discreetly upon deducing that Penelope was on the other line.  
"I know sweetheart, I wish there was something I could say that could make it better. Maybe this is the closure your Aunt needs baby. It's been years of not knowing and you could all use the peace of knowing once and for all."  
"But this way P?"  
"Honey, would any way be comforting?" she asked gently.  
"No it wouldn't be. Thanks for calling P. It's so good to hear your voice. You have no idea how much it comforts me just hearing it."  
"Oh sweetheart, I have an idea." She replied knowingly.  
"And you never have to thank me for that. It's what friends are for. So if you need to just debrief, or just hear my voice, you call me okay."  
"I will P."  
"Promise me."  
"I promise Baby Girl."

"So what's a girl got to do to get some lovin' around here?" Derek's head snapped up at the sound of her voice, and there she stood with a smile on her face by the doorway of the office. He had just hung up from talking to her.  
"I just wanted to make sure that you hold your end of the bargain." Derek was on his feet within moment engulfing her in a bone-crushing embrace.  
"You didn't think I'd let you go through this with me on the other side of the country did you?" she murmured into his chest.  
"I wasn't quite sure I could get through this, and having you here, I think I may just get a chance."  
"Don't under estimate yourself my love, you would have. It's just who you are."  
"But having you here sure helps."  
"I'm glad. Come on the guys are gathered in the conference room. We're going to run through with what with got over lunch." She said taking his hand. Derek pulled her into another quick hug before allowing her to lead him to the conference room.

"GARCIE" Emily squealed happily upon seeing her friend. Derek watched as the girls rushed over to throw their arms around their muchly missed friend. The rest of the men held back for a bit allowing the girls to get their hugging out of the way before giving her their own hugs.  
"It's good to see you Kitten." Rossi said affectionately.  
"You too. I've missed you all very much." She replied with a smile.

They were able to at least enjoy an hour of sharing a meal together, and slipping into a temporary comfort zone of each other's presence. Individually they could see how her presence had not only calmed Derek, but them too. Reminding them that she was like homing beacon that kept them afloat for so many years, and despite the fact that she was no longer a part of the BAU she still had the ability to ground them, and bring a sense of peace to them. When Hotch hesitated after Penelope offered her services, Penelope threw him a look that had him holding his hands up in defeat knowing that there was no point in arguing.

"It's great to have you here Garcie. I know we only saw each other a couple of weeks ago, but it's so nice having you with us, especially during cases like these."  
"It's nice to be back. I do miss you guys."  
"Enough to come back?" Em teased knowing the answer to that question already.  
"You're cute Prentiss."

Catching the unsub was somewhat bittersweet. Though he had implied that he had taken Derek's cousin recognizing that she held some importance to him, Derek picked up that he had not mentioned any other name except hers, confirming that whatever happened to his cousin, the unsub had no connection to.

As Penelope held his Aunt in her arms and she asked the question that plagued her, he found himself lying to her, giving her a closure she sorely needed. Penelope had held a hand out to him as he spoke, trying to transfer whatever strength she could knowing that it was killing him lying to someone he loved so much.

Penelope knew that Derek still had a mountain of paperwork to do, so she offered to take his Aunt home and stay there till he had finished. Before leaving she drew him into a tight embrace.

"You did the right thing." She murmured quietly in his ear, her voice thick with emotion. Derek just drew her closer and tighter to his chest.  
"I love you P."  
"I love you too Morgs. We'll see you soon."

His Aunt had met Penelope several times throughout the years, as whenever there was a family gathering, she would be there with him. Just as Mama Morgan loved Penelope, so did the rest of his family. His Aunt was no exception. She, along with everyone else had wondered when Derek was going to admit to himself just how much he loved the girl that had just flown across the country just to be there for him during a forseeable difficult time.

As Penelope got the tea ready for them Penelope could see that there was a peace within her that she had not had for many years. Derek had done the right thing. It was better than living with the uncertainty forever. A burden of uncertainty that Derek would carry alone for the rest of his life. One that the rest of their team could only try to help him carry.

Hotch had sent Derek to his Aunt's as soon as his report was done, assuring him that the rest of them would finish up the rest. He arrived to Penelope and his aunt cooking dinner for him and the rest of the team. Both in good spirits. The peace on his Aunt's face cancelled any guilt he felt by telling her a lie. Though he knew it would not be over till he knew once and for all what happened to his cousin, he would never stop looking. He knew none of them would.

"Hi Baby." He greeted hugging her.  
"Hi. You okay?" she asked holding his cheek in her hand as she looked at him.  
"Yeah, helps that you're here."  
"Good I'm glad. Now pick up a knife and start chopping, we have an army to feed." She said giving his bottom a playful slap before jumping out of his embrace with a laugh.  
"You're so going to get it P," he threatened with a glint in his eye. Penelope grinned as she stepped behind his Aunt for cover.  
"No fair Baby Girl."  
"Too bad. I'm going to quickly wash up upstairs while you take over."  
"Sure P. No probs." Derek knew that she was giving them some time.  
"That girl is a treasure." Aunt Yvonne said somewhat unnecessarily as she followed the gaze that never left Penelope's retreating figure. Snapping out of his trance he glanced back at his aunt,  
"That she is." He agreed somewhat wistfully.  
"Then Baby, you tell her how you feel."  
"She knows."  
"Does she? Does she truly know how you feel, and why you broke it off with that Tamara girl? Don't look at me like that. I know things."  
"You and Mama need to stop gossiping."  
"It's not gossip if it's factual, and baby the fact is you love that girl with all your heart. The moment you admit that to yourself, you can admit it to her, and life can be simple."  
"It's never been simple."  
"That's because you refuse to be honest with yourself. I love you, you know that. But you try so hard protecting your heart from hurt that you are denying yourself happiness that is right by your fingertips."  
"But.."  
"No buts Baby, she flew all this way. Took time off from her job, for you. For me. Knowing what this could mean for us. You can't deny the love that's so evidently there. Best friend or not, that girl would cross the ocean by swimming it to get to you if she had to, and vice versa."  
"I love her so much it scares me."  
"I know Baby, she's just as frightened as you, but she's still here. What do you want? Can you honestly say that you'll be happy with this arrangement forever."  
"I'm not happy with this arrangement now," he confessed,  
"Then do something about it." Aunt Yvonne challenged. Before more could be said they heard the water in the bathroom stop running and ceased their conversation, switching to a different topic.


End file.
